Talking Heads: What is it, when to worry, and how to edit it out.

Quick back-and-forth dialogue is actually fantastic. When there’s a two-character scene, there’s often no need for all the dialogue tags and action beats, and they can distract from the dialogue sometimes. (But that’s another topic entirely.)

There’s always a possibility of too much of a good thing, though.

Back-and-forth dialogue is perfect for arguments, especially when the conversation is meant to be rapid-fire. However, when there are 3+ characters, and it’s unclear who’s speaking, or when the rapid-fire goes on too long, that’s when the back-and-forth may not work.

Rapid-fire dialogue that drags on risks becoming talking heads, leaving the reader to picture two heads chit-chatting rather than a full-fledged story scene. No moving limbs. No interacting with the environment you spent so long crafting and describing. No deep emotions bubbling beneath the surface, never spoken, creating juicy tension. Just the heads.

But don’t stress this on your first draft.

Sometimes, we need to get the dialogue out there on the first draft, and we don’t want to worry yet about who’s saying what, what they’re doing or thinking when they’re speaking, or any of that.

So the first piece of advice is… at first, let it be. Talking heads are okay in a first draft.

That’s what editing is for.

On the second or third read through of your manuscript, that’s when you’ll want to start fleshing out those talking heads scenes. But how do we do that?

Number one: exteriority.

In other words, what does your character see, smell, and feel? Sprinkle in those details where relevant.

Tip: Aim for three sensory details per page, with at least one that isn’t sight.

In a similar vein, have the character not only be in and observe the environment, but also interact with the environment. Don’t just note the dirty dishes; wash them. Bang your snowy boots against the welcome mat. Don’t just note the fluffy cat sitting on the couch next to you; try to pet it.

Number two: interiority.

Now, we don’t want to overdo this, but sprinkling in the occasional 1-3 lines of interiority is great. How does the character feel about what the other is saying? Surely they aren’t going to say everything they’re feeling, so share those thoughts and feelings through interiority instead.

Number three: action.

What is your character actively doing during this scene? Put your characters into action; that’s one way to avoid talking heads. In my first-ever novel, I did this by having two characters chase a runaway chicken. It gave them plenty to do while they had their chat, which made it more engaging for me as a writer and for the readers.

Pro tip: Some action beats and dialogue tags don’t count.

She sighs. She rolls her eyes. He crosses his arms. He glares. They laugh. They smile. They walk down the street. They drive to the store.

These things have a place in a story, and you’ll never catch me asking you to edit them out (or at least not all of them)… but they don’t really help with the talking heads problem. These types of beats and tags add flavor to the characters and story by letting us know the character’s mood; however, they don’t connect the character to the environment.

So, use them where they fit, but don’t make that the only action your character takes. And as with anything, be sure not to overuse!

Instead of:

They drive to the store in his beat-up Jeep.

“This hasn’t been working for a long time,” she says.

“It was working for me. You should have told me sooner.”

“I know. I’m sorry, okay?”

He turns up the music to drown her out.

Consider…

“This hasn’t been working for a long time,” she says.

The coconut air freshener she hung in the car days prior felt sweet at the time, but on this sunny day, it became cloying.

“It was working for me.” His hands grip the steering wheel, and he stares straight ahead. “You should have told me sooner.”

“I know.” She holds my arm as if she’s trying to get my attention. “I’m sorry, okay?”

Instead of responding, I shake off her touch and twist the volume dial, drowning out her words and my thoughts with a shitty, overplayed pop song. I hate that I know all the words to it.

The way he grips the wheel tells us he’s in the car and tense. He turns up the music. The scent of the freshener is both a grounding detail for readers and sets the mood for what is clearly a character about to get dumped. We get some interactions between the characters, and we even learn about one character’s personality/taste with his apparent dislike of pop music. He’s kind of an asshole, isn’t he? (I have no clue who this man is.)

Note, this is a quick example; you can definitely do better, but hopefully this gets the point across.

What about a lighthearted example, to show how these things can change the mood entirely?

Consider…

“This hasn’t been working for a long time,” she says.

I inhale deeply, the lavender air freshener she hung days prior grounding me. We’ve needed to have this talk for a long time, and in a way, it’s a relief when she brings it up.

“I know.” I smile tightly and look at her from the corner of my eye.

Even though this is the end, she looks as happy as she’s ever been. Her smile is genuine, but it’s a mismatch for the tears pricking at her eyes.

“You deserve to be happy.” She squeezes my arm.

“Yeah. So do you.”

It’s the same conversation, but a few tweaks shift the vibe. There’s still tension—his tight smile, her tears. But here, we’re happier for the characters; we’re curious about what will come next for him.

And we get some interiority—he’s relieved to have this talk. The characters are interacting too, with her squeezing his arm. If I had to add something to this scene in edits, it would probably be some interaction with the car or environment, but I have to get back to my actual edits. So we’ll leave it here.

Remember, there’s no wrong way to write or edit, but these tips should create an immersive experience with your readers. Need more help? Check out my editing services!

I hope this helps!

PS. I don’t edit my blog posts, so don’t judge based on this, okay?